Couple of things...

...first of all, I can't decide whether I'm the worst mum ever, or the best:  I did NOT buy ONE SPECK of chocolate. No eggs...no egg hunt...no presents...nothing. I decided not to acknowledge the giant money suck/sugar orgy that is Easter (for us non-Christian types, anyway).

Growing up fat, I always remember the stress Easter caused me. Don't get me wrong...I could not WAIT for that kick ass easter basket my mother put together! You know...my mother who was always on and on and on about how fat I was? Yeah. So the weeks AFTER easter, as my jeans got too tight and I hated myself (even worse if I happened to be joining my mother in Weight Watchers or TOPS, or whatever weight loss thing of the moment was happening), it just sucked. So I decided this year, who needs it?

Hubs and big kid have gone to Binghampton this weekend for some hockey thing. Little guy doesn't even know he's missing anything. Do I feel guilty about not hiding eggs for him? Yes and no, but honestly, mostly no.

That was thing one. Thing two is about the Isagenix.

The other night, my beloved BFF Marla gave me a wake-up call. She kind of gave me shit about the fad-diet-ness of Isagenix, and how that's not why I started all this. She reminded me that I started all this so I could learn to eat better, for real, not with bars and shakes and nonsense. I don't disagree with her. I'm not saying the Isagenix doesn't work...it totally does! I just don't think it's for everybody - particularly me. I find it super unpleasant, and life is too short to dread every meal. I felt fine on it (although I found it really messed with my brain, and I never did get the mental clairity that I get from actual food), and I did lose weight, but...for me personally...I need to go at this a different way.  A real way. And drag my family along kicking and screaming and NOT eating chocolate easter eggs.

I know so much more about nutrition than I ever have before. Time to put that knowledge to good use...right?

2 MORE pouds down!! Seriously!!

Ok...this is more than water weight, people!  I'm 2 lbs away from fresh weight loss territory!!

Isagenix day 7 - first cleanse day

Just to update you...day 7 and I'm down 10.8 lbs! Wow, huh?

How I feel right now...I'm not SUPER hungry this minute, but I AM hungry. Day 3 was brutal for me. Like spent-the-day-in-bed brutal. But day 4 was better and it's been easier since.

I'm excited by these 10 lbs in less than a week; I haven't lost so much so fast since my pre op diet...which this feels a lot like...but I'm not kidding myself that I'm making it through 30 days of it. I'm actually starting to think I signed up for this while I was drunk (seems like something I'd do..) and full of fatty food, and now I feel my resolve weakening.  But then I think of what actual detoxing felt like and I do not want to have to go through that again.

I'm told my mental acuity will return, with extra clarity. I hope that's true. Right now

If I can hold out to the weekend, I might just make it into fresh weight loss territory.

That would be cool...

Day One - 2.1 lbs

For day one, I gotta say, 2.1 lbs down doesn't suck.

Yeah I know it's water, but still...makes me feel a little better, even though by the end of the night last night (the "end" of my night being 9 p.m.) I was so headache-y and grouchy I went to bed so as not to inflict myself on anyone further.

This morning, I woke up very crampy. Can't figure out whether it's the huge boost in protein or the effects of the Isa-Flush, but yeah...crampy. 

I feel pretty ok so far this morning. I had one of the bars instead of a shake this morning, just due to time constraints. I'm drinking a Tazo Refresh tea right now, trying to keep my water levels up. Looking VERY forward to my lunch!

I have to wonder though...how do normal, NON-banded people DO this??  Even with my band, I was definitely hungry yesterday. Without a band, someone around me would have been in danger of having an arm chewed off.

Isagenix

I drank the kool-aid. Well, actually, what I drank was a shot of some berry flavoured stuff and a "chocolate" shake that brought back memories of my 3 week fast prior to band surgery.

Isagenix.

A girlfriend of mine had some amazing weight loss on it...hit her goal in 2 months, and has been selling it - her facebook status updates were too tempting; I HAD to try it. Today was the big day.

So far, feeling a little crappy, but I think that's probably more to the lack of caffeine than anything. Cold turkey quitting coffee always hits me hard (and tea...I drink a lot of tea), and I'm feeling it. Headache, but I'm in an alarmingly good mood.

I had some kind of Isagenix fibre bar for a snack, and a SNACK, which was like a compressed hot chocolate pellet. Not in any way snack-like, if you ask me.

Lunch was my typical chicken tortilla soup (no tortillas, clearly), and what I have to look forward to now is the dinner shake. And no wine. Yeah you read that right.

Watch this space.

I Want To Be Zen

Can someone teach me how to be zen? Do I have to capitalize that? Zen? Well howeveryouspellit...I need to be more it.

I suppose I could do yoga. I remember taking yoga in University (for credit, no less! It's not just sitting around in a bunch of poses, I can tell you - although that's what I hoped it would be when I signed up for it thinking it would be a bird course...) and learning about breathing and meditation, and that is some good shit right there...but who has the time (or the alone time, right other moms?)  I joined a gym, and I'm gonna go there as soon as my weekend from hell at work is over, I swear...but I'm not sure I want to do group yoga.  Or yoga at all.

"Drink wine!" you say! And I do!  But as part of my new health initiative, I've banned weekday wine! And honestly? I miss it. I didn't think I would, but, for instance, when I was out shopping yesterday and I saw the wide array of wine glasses, my first reaction was "yum, wine!!" and then I got all sad thinking about how I wouldn't get to have wine until the weekend, except not this weekend because I'm working and the ban is in place during working weekends.  Um...yikes.

Vacation!!  Except no...the last 6 years have pretty much been a vacation...and I just got back from Chicago...and also I'm broke (which banning the weekday wine should help fix, kinda...)

So...I bought a pair of boxing gloves. Yep.  I'm gonna go pound the shit outta...some shit.  Oh...and they have pink on them.

That's my story.

The Truth Is:

I've been eating like crap for the past few days. Wanna know what I've noticed?  I also FEEL like crap.  What a freakin' co-incidence!

Why don't I REMEMBER this? Why is it the second I see a Pringles container, the hard-earned knowledge that eating good food makes me feel good completely falls out of my brain?  Why is it not until I've eaten the whole can of Pringles and I'm feeling gross and horrible, and the next morning when I wake up all puffy and gross from all the salt that I remember again?

November 1st, I'm starting a weight loss challenge at work AND my fitness club membership starts. I'm sick of sitting on the fence. I'm sick of this plateau.

Damn you, Pringles! (That's right...I blame the Pringles. I know I know...shhhh)